I remember when I first fell in love. I was 17. Never knew Love like this before, never even knew a Love like this existed. But that’s the thing about Love, you can hear about Love, sing songs about Love, answer trivia questions about Love, but until you have experienced Love, you don’t really know Love. You must taste for yourself before you know the goodness of Love. So after years of wondering about Love and getting glimpses of Love through special providential moments, I finally came face to face with Love. Wrecked. Abandoned. Unashamed.
After our meeting, Love walked with me everywhere. I often flaunted Love, not in a prideful way, but so others might also share in the joy of Love. Jesus opened my soul up like never before and the world was brighter. My Bible became my engagement ring and I never left home without it. I was roses and sunshine until I left the confines of my safety net and into the slightly larger world of junior college. I was disturbed to be face to face with those who opposed my Love, looked down on Love and told lies about my Love. More than disturbed. I wanted justice. Justice for my Love and justice for those who would oppose Love. One of my professors, a deacon in a nearby Baptist Church, told the entire class that the Bible was full of contradictions. I could barely stay in my seat, I was enraged! I promptly wrote a 3 page letter and practically insisted he repent for his damaging words and reminded him (like he needed to know) that he was a deacon! He did.
Love never left me although I chose to leave Love more than once. My experiences defied Truth in those younger years I am sad to say. But through all the rough years my defense of Love was foremost. I think I was born for conflict, I tend to run to it rather than avoid it. When I finally was able to finish college I chose Science. Its like I wanted to be in the battle. You might be surprised by how much God is mentioned in the science world. Although many of the scientific leaders are Christians, the mainstream educational science world would have us scoff at God. I was older now, less argumentative but still defensive, and just as bold as I was 10 years earlier.
I was beginning my Junior year of college and having some issues with the Science Director and his constant remarks against the inerrancy of the Scriptures. I will never forget the day that Love came into my house, stood in my presence and spoke to me in an audible voice. I had always wondered what it would be like to hear Him, not by the inward Spirit, not by the Word that speaks to our hearts or by the preached Word that pierces our souls, but in an audible voice. I will share here not all of what He said but this one part;
I Am the I Am. I do not need to be proved or argued.
Ok, so when God speaks these words to you, well, it was rattling to say the least. After I dried my tears and got my legs back, I headed to my first class with a different attitude. I am still learning today the full meaning of those 2 sentences. But I can tell you this, I will not enter into an argument with anyone. I will answer questions the best I can, but the gospel “is foolishness to them who are perishing” ( 1 Cor. 1:18), and until they taste and see, they can never fully understand. I mean, seriously, as Christians we do believe things that sound crazy: men made from dust, women from the man’s rib, prophets swallowed by whales, virgin births, men walking through walls, the resurrection, etc. etc.
My heart attitude is different. I no longer feel the need for justice. I still feel enraged at times over the defense of my Love, but those are few and far between, and certainly not aimed at the unsaved. By my senior year of college, my classmates knew my heart and my intent. They respected me because I did not repel or reject them or their beliefs. I allowed my Father to teach me His heart, one of Love. I will always speak on my Love’s behalf and never be timid or ashamed, but I am determined to be quick to listen and only speak what I hear Him saying. It is a work in progress. By the end of that year, 2 of my classmates committed their hearts to Christ and another friend, a professed atheist accepted my gift of The Purpose Driven Life and promised to read it with his fiance. I lost touch with him but still pray he tasted Love as well. Some others came to me for prayer, although they never prayed before in their lives. I pray my comments and my answers spurred many others into taking a risk to taste and see.
Since my college years there have been times when I have been led to enter the conflict and times when I have been led to be silent. For me, the silent part is the hardest. (Those that know me are laughing.) After having walked with Love for a number of years, I know the grace he has for those that still reject His name, Savior. I pray for those that oppose my Love that they receive that name. For the Scripture says:
17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. John 3:17-18For they are still believing a lie that His name is Judge. Its true that when he returns He will judge, but his character, his name, is Savior. My job, then, is to not to argue His Truth, but to live His Love. Love the unlovable, love those who hate, love those who have not tasted, and pray, pray, pray, pray that they might reconsider.